Monday, November 13, 2006

New Four Agreement Topic

"Imagine Living without the fear of loving and not being loved in return. You are no longer afraid to be rejected, and you don't have the need to be accepted."

10 comments:

thehealingroom said...

Don Miguel Ruiz.

Tamarai said...

healingroom - thanks for posting this quote. You always get me thinking!!

joyofliving - I believe we are all connected. We are not separate entities. Unconditional love recognises that connection.

Candy Minx said...

I think one of the operative words in this quote is "imagine".

During years of performing if I ever got stage fright, I would sit and think, what is the worse thing that could happen...and then decide, I can live throught that various scenarios.

In the same way, imagine living without being loved. It's okay, it's not the worse thing that could happen to someone. Plus, there are so many people in the world who live without the kind fo love many of us are accosutommend to and expect.

Look at all the monks, nuns, preists who pledge to live without love. Even the love of their families, brothers and aunts parents is not measured in the same stature as the lifestyle they choose by living through service. (and our whole social structure would fall apart, in europe and North America without these volunteers supporting us with time to our children, the homeless, the poor)

If a nun could not only imagine life without love, but actually attempt to live by that concept anybody could,.

And plus, this is an exercise most valuable for teaching us to alter our expectation sand definitions of love.

Look at all those crazy women back in the 90's with the book for marriage called "the rules" my god, they had their whole life mapped out on schedule they might be able to find a husband but he'd be a really boring one.

On the other side though, I think we put too much weight on being rejected. All of the places we work and volunteer are going to have people we don't agreree with or don't like, and they might ot like us.

Why do we take rejection so personally?

But letting go of the idea that we have to be loved and accepted is a liberating one.

Much more important though, is how much love did you give away for free today? And tomorrow and the next the next...?

Thats a much harder challenge...

thehealingroom said...

Joy, Tanya, Candy.

I am just thrilled that I CAN imagine this state.
The fact that I can imagine it means to me that it IS possible.
There are times when I am feeling loving when it is more like I am love and love is coming out of me for no reason,then there is no attachment to the outcome.
It is natural and MY pleasure to be loving.

thehealingroom said...

Hi Joy!
I don't know Exactly what love he is refering to but when I read the whole chapter or listen to the audio book, I get a gist of it.
As for me, I don't think I am refering to romantic-marital love but I am not excluding it either.
When I am love, it is all emcompassing and all inclusive.

Candy Minx said...

Great thoughts here...and I had also wondered at the different inds of love in the world and life . I imagined his idea of love was all love.

I think we expect love to be reciprocated, and I don't think we should.

I think living without love is doable but not ultimately healthy and it would poison us. The excerise doesn't ask us to live without love it just asks us, like literature and good movies to imagine.

One we realize we can then challenge our love. I still believe the most important way to love is have love from oneself to oneself.

Tenet Nose

Know thyself is where love grows within and then we can share it.

I think love of children and animals should be counted of course.

Um, I went to a really fun lecture last night and I have posted about it here at my blog, and I think it pertains to these last few posts of yours Healing Room...

Our speaker listed the seven classic, universal stages of learning in life.

http://gnosticminx.blogspot.com/2006/11/urban-jungle.html

thehealingroom said...

Great Discussion.
I'll check out your blog Candy. That sounds pertinent.
Joy, the focus of this quote for me is the subject of FEAR. Of imagining an aspect of living WITHOUT the fear.

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Anonymous said...

Very nicce!

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