Friday, November 03, 2006

The Next Topic for the Wisdom Group

Wow, a week has gone by already.
Next Tuesday evening's meeting we will be sharing about, "Assumptions. What are some of the ways in which we make assumptions."
Next Thursday afternoon, the volunteer moderator picked a card with a quote from the book;

"Don't take anything personally. Everyone lives in their own dream. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind. They are in a completely different world from the one we live in."

love and light




9 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

Great cat pics!

I have to reread The Four Agreements because it's been a while and I need a refresher. But I can say, it's changed my thinking in a lot of ways. Assumptions are so hard; they're ingrained in a lot of ways. And many of us don't have the ablitlity to comminucate and check things out. I have the cards, too, but haven't used them much. Perhaps I should start.

thehealingroom said...

Nice to see you again, Coyote.

Its not our fault, we have been domesticated to make assumptions...but it is a hell of a way to live.
I started out by practicing saying, "I don't know". more often

peace to you

Ginnie Hart said...

Yes, I agree, it's nice to be seeing these Agreements again. They are so very true. Thanks for the reminder!

Tamarai said...

Love the kitties!

Not taking things personal is a toughie. I find it easier to apply this principal to strangers than I do to those closest to me. Always room for growth, eh?

Anonymous said...

After all, we are all creating our own reality, right? So I can't possibly understand someone else's, or control it.

I see Ginnie stopped by (my sis)!

thehealingroom said...

Yes, I find this a huge challenge at times....
I mean if its all about me(in a way, right?) it's a fine line that its Pesonally! about me. (Personal Importance vs Self Love and respect.)

Candy Minx said...

This workshop sounds terrific!

Assumptions are a very funny thing. Stagg and I laugh about this a lot because have you ever tried to find something, or something comes up on tv or the news, and you wonder "what is this". It is very easy to recognize the assumptions. Soon a discussion can occur...well maybe this happened because of this or that...and if you watch conversations people perpetrate misinformation all the time.

I think part of this is because in our life from childhood there is a terrible feeling of not knowing the answers. In school we feel left out, shunned "stupid" if we make a mistake on a test or in class. Learning disabilities run rampant and undiagnosed for many children. Bullies and teachers unwittingly judge children too harshly...sometimes parents spread doubt when kids don't know things.

Then the pressure to fit in to society. Part of fitting in is following rules and fashion and behaviour. We feel huge pressure to be aware of all those details when young and this can carry into adult life.

Assumptions can be associated with: intolerance, hate, low self esteem, greed, insecurity, passive agressiveness...


It can go on and on.

And the funny thing is, it makes sense the next topic in your group is the concept of "don't take things personally".

I am sure I talked to you about this a few years ago. I read somewhere about practicing not taking things personally. I was in Vancouver at the time, and I just made a rule, no matter what don't take anything personally.

Most people are not thinking about us and what we are doing. The world does not actually evolve around ourselves, heh heh. One of our basic assumptions is that people are reacting to US! No they probably aren't.

Another funny thing about not taking things personally is that you are in the act of trusting yourself.

You need to believe that you think about doing the right thing, and you are a good person. If you aren't hurting others and you are thinking and acting with compassion and tolerance...then why on earth would you take things personally?

Your actions and words haven't been responsible for someone elses behaviour.

Negative relationships tend to promote and cultivate this kind of paranoia behaviour of taking things personally. The child inside of us worries if we are lovable or fun enough. If we have felt unloved or rejected or have abandonment issues, then the defense mechanism of "taking things personally" is out of whack...because we have believed we have done something wrong in our past to make people reject us or abandon us.

This is highly unlikely...if you are a compassionate person. If you are a tolerant person...you shoul allow yourself to not take things personally.

Oops, I talked too much, whats new? I look forward to hearing more about this workshop!

thehealingroom said...

Candy, I am thrilled at your lengthy post....you would be a great addition to our discussion group.
You wrote, "if we have felt unloved or rejected, or have abandonment issues"....
It has been my observation that this applies to almost everybody. Just coming out of the womb can create abandonment issues. For me, I abandoned my authentic self to "fit" in with those I perceived as my source of love(completely forgetting that I was my source of love)somewhere around the age of 5 or 6.
Now with awareness, I am healing those parts of myself and the 4 agreements have been excellent tools and reminders.

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